Craving Acceptance
by tweetyviolet
Summary: Alan tells his brothers something about himself. How will they react? Non-canon pairings. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: I don't own the Thunderbirds... or the rockets would have been purple.**

**Alan's POV:**

Sometimes, I'm not sure if I'm worth anything, that's when the nightmares hit. Waves of nausea, pain and memories roll over and consume me, until I'm grounded back to reality. Until, I realise I'm safe in his arms.

**The Next Day**

Nostalgia rolled over me as rippling waves wink at me and the sky clears effortlessly, I'm on my way home. Right now I'm seventeen, a senior at boarding school, heavily involved in sports and I occasionally help out in the music department. I generally take a characteristic from each of my brothers (music, stubbornness, sports), but many people don't realise that you can't compare me to my brothers. Except Alex, I met him when I was 15, after all the things with the Hood. I was happy apart from the nightmares. However, I was stressed, I'd never bothered to raise my grades before and it was easy to get them to 'A's, but hard to maintain them. That consequently meant that I forgot to eat, I lost weight rapidly, in a mean cycle, but he helped me back on track.

I denied my feelings for months before acting upon them. I can't say I regret the relationship. The way his soft lips feel, the way he breathes in my scent and the way he marks me with his lips on my collarbone make me delirious. I sigh and tune out of my daydream as I hear Parker announce.

"Nearly there Master Tracy, we'll be setting down in five minutes."

I hesitate, as we land, before replying, "Thank you Parker, I appreciate you bringing me home for the Winter Holidays. Tell Lady P hello from me and pass on my thanks and these gifts." I hurriedly exclaim, embarrassedly pushing the gifts into his hands before fleeing up the driveway.

"You welcome Master Tracy," Parker calls after me. I risk a glance behind me and see him contemplating the green gift, for him, he pauses before meeting my eyes and mouthing, 'Thank You.'

I shake my head, as I shove the door open, whilst shouldering my duffle bag for the holiday. I see Fermat as I enter; he'd been on a course for the last two days, so left school early without me. I drop my duffle on the kitchen floor as my, eldest, brother Scott tackles me in a flying hug. I haven't seen him in a year, because we kept missing each other's holidays (he's been helping man Thunderbird 5 recently). I gently push him off before I hug Virgil, mutter "Hi," to my dad, embrace John and fist bump my partner in crime Gordon.

I greet TinTin before taking a running leap over the kitchen counter and start helping her in chopping the vegetables. My hands are flying as everyone stares at my prowess, and the way we work in perfect synchronisation in the kitchen. "Hey Sprout, where'd you learn to cook like that?" Scott calls.

I shrug my shoulders gently, my hands constantly moving, "I help out in the kitchen with Tia during the holidays sometimes."

"Tia?" John question with a tilt of his blonde head.

"TinTin, Tianamera, Tia." I say decidedly, and ignore Gordon's under the breath, rapid, muttering.

The slightly uncomfortable silence is abruptly shattered by a shrill ring. "Shit," I curse as I slide the bar right, to answer the call from Alex.

**Scott's POV:**

I listen in on the, one sided, conversation Sprout has discreetly.

"Hey Al, yeah I'm fine, so don't even ask," He continues slicing something and rests the phone between his head and his shoulder.

"No, we haven't eaten yet, I'm just preparing lunch." He laughs at the response before responding casually.

"Yeah we're making that one, remember that time in Paris when we were... what? 16. Yeah, do you remember that evening?" He seems to be lost in thought, reminiscing over distant memories that I have no idea about. Suddenly he snaps out of thought, and grabs the phone as the person on the line starts talking again. He leaps onto the counter after giving TinTin a look and mouthing 'sorry'.

His head jerks up and he snaps at the unknown caller, "No that won't happen. You don't need to be my babysitter Alexander," he listens tensely for a few moments, before deflating and softly tells the caller "I'll see you soon, I'll be okay, yes I will and no I won't." He chuckles and chokes out of his laughter the word "Predictable." Finally, he signs off with a "I'll tell them."

He then promptly directs his gaze to TinTin and Fermat and rolling his eyes expresses that "Alex says 'Hello'."

At that moment Gordon pipes up with "Was that your boyfriend Sprout?" jokingly. As we are all laughing I see Fermat giving Alan a fractional nod and TinTin mouthing 'It's time." I feel a sense of fore-boarding in my stomach as Alan steadily stares at each of us before replying directly to Gordon.

"Actually Gordo, that was my boyfriend, his name's Alex," he smiles nervously at us all and shifts his weight several times. The tapping of Alan's foot reverberates in the stunned silence, which is suddenly broken by Virgil:

"Are you gay Alan?" Sprout tilts his head in consideration before replying, with a wink to TinTin.

"No, I'm bisexual as Tia definitely knows," Dad coughs as he was unfortunately sipping some juice when Alan calmly stated the words and TinTin blushed heavily in response.

"Well that's cool kiddo, it means your perfectly comfortable in threesomes." Gordon jokes, with an approving smile on his face.

I suddenly realise how nervous Alan was about our reaction as he releases a breath and slumps his posture.

"Yeah Sprout," I chime in to the conversation. "All the more fun for you." Alan lets out a breathless laugh before seating himself, comfortable with our unconditional acceptance, at the table.

**Alan's POV:**

As I seat myself at the table, listening to the chatter flow around me, Scott leans towards me. "I love you Allie, no matter what."

I smile at him with twinkling eyes, and I hope he received the message. I sigh and lean back in my chair, no longer craving acceptance.


End file.
